Online Dating Scammers Part 3

Widows are a target for scammers.

Every widow I know welcomed me into the club with this bit of advice. People think all widows have a big life insurance settlement just begging to be spent, they said. Don't let them spend if for you.

The scammer seems dominate the online dating scene for me. I don't think I have a lot of real men who respond to me. And when they do, well, you be the judge.

         Hey I'm Dustin how are you doing
or

 Thanks for your message.. i would love to get to know you if you dont mind send me your email address so we can get to know each other ..Frank

If you guessed the top was the scammer, you need to go back and review.

I also got this one.

Hello, I'm sorry to disturb you as a lady. My name is Kim. I don't know how to say this but my Boss seems to like your profile (smile) and all you wrote. I was talking him into online dating, while taking him through the process I decided to show him how to search single ladies here on . Apparently your profile came up in his search criteria and he was really intrigued by your profile.. His name is Samuel and he's 62, he currently lives in Reno, Nevada. From what he said, you are the only woman that caught his attention and he compliments your pretty photo and remarkable profile. I'm not trying to paint him good but you could give this a try. I'm doing this because I believe in love and we never can tell where and when it would happen, that leap of faith is all that is needed. He is widowed, lost his wife to colon cancer 5 years ago and now just getting back into dating and doesn't like the bar scene, he has a son and Works as a Private International Building Engineer/Contractor. From a lady to a lady I ask that you give it a try, he is an awesome guy also very handsome. Do write him at samuelnicholas38 AT yahoo. com . We never know if we don't try. To view photos of Samuel please copy and paste this link in your browser: http://goo.gl/UjHXPa Kim.

I'm sorry, but I looked at myself in the mirror this morning. There was not one thing looking back at me that would make someone fly in from Nevada without dollar bills attached. And my little green friends are staying with me.

It is incredibly hard to sort through all the crap. Why, the man of my dreams, good looking, wealthy accountant in Gallatin, responded to an email with this.

         Hi Miss Janet, Would you care to talk via phone sometime this weekend? Joe

I checked his profile photos again.  There was a "I can afford to go to the beach picture", a "I can look straight into the camera and look hot" picture. And a tux picture that's not at a wedding.  You bet your hot tamale that I'll talk to you! And I gave him my number.

I checked the data. He read it at 4:13 p.m. Hot dog! Then, at 4:26 p.m. I get a text on my phone asking me to download something. Coincidence? I don't think so, especially since its 24 hours and I haven't heard from Mr. Wonderful yet.

I still can't believe a scammer called me Miss Janet! He must have been born in the South, is all that I can figure.

So the profile of widow has to change to divorced. while I'm changing my status to divorced, I'm going to review my profile.

Right now it says:

 I can have a good time doing most anything. I'm comfortable in heels and jeans. I like all kinds of music and have a great vinyl collection. I'm a history buff and like to go to different historical sites. My idea of a fun day is going for a drive and finding a cool place to explore. I like to travel. I'd like to tour the west and New England. Touring Europe would be a bucket list item for me. What else do you want to know? Send me an email and get the answer to any burning question you may have. I look forward to hearing from you.

Is it a little needy but not too needy?  Maybe the action step of "send me an email" is too direct. We'll see what happens.

Online Dating Scammers Part 2

Why are there so many online profiles TEXT xxx-xxx-xxxx?

Who in their right mind would text somebody without a little email foreplay? And, if nothing else, it keeps you from giving a that sociopath, who represents three percent of the population in men (and two percent for the ladies) your phone number!

But who am I to judge how people meet each other in these new fangled ways. All I've learned is that most scammers want you to call them right away.

Take Thomas for instance.

Hello, how are you doing today hope good. I'm Thomas,I saw your profile and i couldn't help my self but send you a wink . Would so much like to hear and learn more about you.Am a very fun, caring, sweet, romantic,adventurous,loving and kind man. I'm here to find someone to be happy with, & give all of the love I have in my heart to share with a life partner, I just want anything I get myself into at this time of my life to be the last relationship of my life that would last FOREVER! So i believe contacting you today has a good reasons and due to the fact my subscription will be off soon with no intent on renewal can we do this via email? bs819645//@//gmail//.//com or (901)509-0343 Hope to read from you.. Thomas

He says the reason is that his subscription is expiring. Let me say this. If you are too cheap to pay the online dating fee, then you are too cheap to go out with me. That's a deal breaker.

Nevertheless, his profile says he's from Dunlap, Tennessee's "Hang Gliding Capitol of the East". The adrenalin junkie in me thinks this might be fun if he is a real man. So why does he have a West Tennessee area code?

So I search it and get this.

Телефонные мобильные номера сотовых операторов

По номеру мобильного телефона здесь можно узнать оператора и регион
По России +7 Мегафон, МТС, Билайн, Теле2, Ростелеком и другие, для Украины +380
Для поиска по фамилии и адресу смотрите Телефонный справочник

Say what???? I go back and hit the translate this page link.

Phone mobile cellular operators

The mobile phone number you can learn here the operator and region
Russia +7 MTS, Beeline, Megafon, Tele2, Rostelecom and other for Ukraine + 380
To search by name and address, see telephone directory


It's a safe bet he's not from Moscow, TN.

Let's look at his email for the other standard scam alerts.

Lower case I for the personal pronoun. Check.

I'm Thomas,I saw your profile and i couldn't help my self but send you a wink . So i believe contacting you today has a good reasons and due to the fact my subscription will be off soon with no intent on renewal can we do this via email?

No, honey. He wasn't in a hurry. My auto correct wouldn't let me use the lower case I right now.

Over the top language/use of all caps. Check.

I just want anything I get myself into at this time of my life to be the last relationship of my life that would last FOREVER!

And a new clue; poor sentence structure.

I just want anything I get myself into at this time of my life to be the last relationship of my life that would last FOREVER!

I'll bet you do.

Finally, his email address: bs819645//@//gmail

The bs must stand for bullshit.

NEXT!

Online Dating Scammers

The online dating profile photo was my first clue.

Mr.. Wonderful, with salt and pepper hair and movie star smile looks up at you from the computer screen in a photo that screams "I'm a former eagle scout. Trust me!"

That was enough to raise the hackles on the back of my neck. I mean, Mr. Puppy Dog  Eyes send a wink to me. That's not consistent image of  the real men who respond to my profile, who channels Emeril or Santa Claus. But since his profile said he lived in Nashville, one can dream, so I sent him an email.

Here's his response:

"Hello Janet

I am overwhelmed to hear from you , you seem to be a nice person to me, i am just new here on the site , and it will be great if i get to know you better ,, so tell me me how long have you been single and how long have you been here on the site?

Hope to hear from you soon
Donald"

Mr. "I'm a good kisser too" was overwhelmed to hear from me! A little girlish thrill went up my spine as I looked at his picture and smiled.

"Overwhelmed to see me." The outer edges of my smile were dropped like a rock off a cliff. "Wait a minute," I'm coming back to reality. "If he's Mr. Wonderful, why is he overwhelmed with me Ms. Gawky Nerd? There must be something bad wrong here."

Oh, yes. That was clue number two, but the profile home of Nashville still gave me blind hope.

So I wrote him this.

"Hi Donald,

Thank you for your nice email.

My husband died about 18 months ago. He had a stroke eight years ago and was paralyzed on one side and couldn't talk and I took care of him until he died. I'm just getting back in the dating pool after all that.

I've been online since September and met some nice people, so I'm not the only one. I get a lot of scammers hitting on me, so I hope you are a real person.

I'm a lawyer for the state and work in aging.

So what about you?

Janet"

His reply:

"Hello Janet

Sorry to hear that about your husband , well i am just new here on the site and hope to find the right person for me. you can ask me anything you want to know about me, i really want to get to know you better

Donald"

See, Geppetto! Pinocchio is a real boy!  He responded to my comments regarding my husband. That means he's real. He would never lie! Just look at that perfect nose on his profile picture. And besides, it's on the internet, so it's got to be real!

So I write:

"Hi Donald,

Thank you. I see on your profile that you are a widower. what happen?, Do you have kids? Are you from Nashville? I'm a native, living in my hometown. Where do you work?

That's a start. Tell me your story.

Janet"

His replay:

"Hi Janet

i am a little bit busy at work ,, can you write your email and i will message when i am a little bit free .. i also want to get to know you better , i really don't stay on the site much longer"

Clue Three: The run-around.

He can't talk right but give your personal info and he'll get back with you. That always brings me back to earth. Then confirmation by reviewing the inconsistencies. He's new to the site, according the email one and getting off the site according to the last. The use of the lower case i for the personal pronoun is a biggie that I should have recognized in all of them. I also spot the use of commas instead of periods and file it under another early warning alarm. A fellow online dater tells me that they are all widowers, as well.

So how did I end it? I didn't respond. I didn't want to waste one more minute on a scammer. There are real men online.

Let's summarize how to spot scammers:

1. Model good looks
2. Most likely a widower
3. Who is seeking that one special woman
3. Uses over the top language (Overwhelm) or ALL CAPS to express their feelings
4. Wants personal email and phone number right away
5. Uses lower case i for the personal pronoun I
6. Uses lots of commas instead of periods

If this sounds like anybody you know, stop talking to them. They are scammers.  Or if you enjoy playing  the fairy tale,  just remember to hang on to your money, when he asks for it. Your little green friends don't want to go to a scammer; they want to stay with you.

The chef

My first online contact was with a chef.

He had me at chef. I would get naked for a chef.

But then he opened his mouth and couldn't stop spewing stupid.

It started cool enough when he sent an email saying that we were matched  and did we want to talk.  I read the profile. Chef. Good enough for me. We emailed some, but he stopped contact. I was disappointed because, you know. A chef.

Whatever. I moved on.

So a few weeks go by and I get a wink from him. I know his name, so I send him a what's up email.  He answers that he wants to talk on the phone, so we exchanged numbers and he texts me pictures of the meal he is preparing: honey baked salmon, cauliflower clouds with spicy cheese sauce, a strawberry torte.  There was much oooing and awing from the food porn addicts in the break room.

I wanted to meet him.

He arranged the  time. He'd call at  7 o'clock. I was excited. I had visions of us sautéing vegetables and  tasting spicy cheese sauce in my kitchen. There was a lot of potential here.

But he was late. He set up the time and was 15-20 minutes late in calling. But he was coming home from visiting his former mother-in-law who is in an Alzheimer's unit. He took her some food.  I'm thinking "OMG a chef AND a nice person".

Then he just kept talking " You know, I'm tall, dark and sexy."

"I like to spend a lot of time in bed."

And "did we talk before?"

He had no clue about our previous interactions. I answered, "Email. We exchanged email."

 Still confused, "Did we call before?"

Someone doesn't have his listening ears on. I repeat. "Email."

Then all of a sudden, the lightbulb came on. "The lawyer.:

"Yes, the lawyer."

 "So, what happened?" he wondered.

"You dropped the ball!" I  felt like I was in a bad rom com. But I was optimistic that this is where the girl forgives the moron and the camera fades out as we feed each other hand crafted truffles.

But no, he has to keep talking. "I remember now! I got involved with a loose woman for three weeks," he said.

How much more am I going to forgive to be with a chef? I take a deep breath and chirp. "Good for you."

"Then we broke up. She kicked me out because I wasn't good in bed. Just kidding."

Praise be, he got off the phone. He said he'll call back in 12 minutes. Note, he didn't say 10 minutes, or 15. What is that about?

Since he's a chef, I think that maybe 12 minutes is a point of reference for him, like browning rolls. So he was going to call me back in the time it takes to brown rolls.  Got it.

Then I get a text. He's going to be delayed and will call me back in 22 minutes, which is the time it takes me to burn cookies.

The first rule in silver dating is:

1. If there is anything at all you don't like about someone, it's time to move on.

I hate burnt cookies.

NEXT!