But the email exchange revealed disabling conditions, which included high blood pressure and diabetes, which are the leading risk of stroke and heart attack. So, you can imagine that chatting with Mr. "I'm going to have a heart attack in your bed" left me a little squeamish. Since I cared for my disabled husband for the last eight years of his life, risk of heart attack and stroke is a deal breaker for me.
But what's a girl to do when 70 percent of all men, 55 and older, have cardiovascular disease?
But let me just say this, you men with good hearts. This is how you got to be the statistical top dogs. Your brethren kept eating French fries dipped in gravy until those arteries couldn't push anymore blood through, And since they have left you with your pick eligible women at a statistic of 2 to one, the least you can do is not be one of the untreated mentally ill.
Please understand that the last person to realize mental illness is the patient, so consider a mental health screen preventative measure, much like having a smallpox vaccine. We really don't want your friends and family to have the urge to squeeze your neck until your eyes pop out, now do we?
In other words, if I have to go through all this crap to meet you, you better be chill!
Now gentlemen of the cardio vascular problems. Come on guys, get healthy. We ladies want to have someone to play with in our old age. This desire never ends. A friend's 90 year-old mother, who hasn't walked in two years, wants a husband for Christmas.
I feel like I have to stay extra healthy just to compete in the silver dating pool. Since heart disease is the number one killer of women, I figure I can at least put "clean arteries" in my online profile. Maybe it will catch the attention of a doctor. I can see his dark eyes reading profile after profile when all of a sudden they land on "clean arteries, no heart disease". He'll say "Yes! that's it. The woman I've been looking for! I'm going to send her a wink!
My problem is that I have high cholesterol and even though I've completely changed my eating habits, it's still over 200 which is bad. How am I going to explain that to my health conscience doctor? My health coach says to eat five to seven cups of vegetables a day. My doctor says more cardio.
What else to I have to do to get a date with Mr. Wonderful?
I like to think that the nurse really didn't stop talking to me because of Christmas. I like to think that no matter how smooth the conversation the spark wasn't big enough to tolerate an inside dog. Gipper, my Boston Terrier came into the conversation early. His picture is on my profile. So nurse said, "I've never had an inside dog. All mine have been outside."
Is this a deal breaker?
"Let's see how it goes," says Mr. Nightengale.
It's a deal breaker for me. I was married to a man who was jealous of the pets and didn't like them in the house. Never again! Love me, love my dog.
Next!
